


curtains closed

by datamancy



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22152097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/datamancy/pseuds/datamancy
Summary: An anonymous party kidnaps the ghost of Andrew Hussie and coerces him into narrating for them.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	curtains closed

Prologue

  


You wake up, blindfolded, in a chair.

  


What the fuck? What the fuck is going on?

  


Us the fuck. Now, we want you to listen.

  


That's going to be hard to do. Have you seen what I can accomplish with just elevator music?

  


I don't give a shit. There are people out there who are trying to decide what's "relevant" or some bullshit for everyone else. Personally, I'm _tired_ of people telling me who and what gets to be "relevant" and what gets sacrificed or cast aside for that.

We're gonna shut the arrogant fuckers up that think they get to control people for the "integrity of the narrative" or whatever pretentious nonsense they want to believe. It's not a greater cause, it's just pseudo-intellectual assholes trying to shove their own bulges down their throats.

That's where you come in. You made sure I know what you can do, and we're going to dictate everything you say.

  


Okay, and why exactly am I supposed to cooperate with this? Personally, I'm a fan of what's been going on.

  


I snap my fingers and point at you.

  


Is that a fucking sword on my neck!? Okay, you do know I'm dead already, right? That was a whole thing, remember?

  


I sigh. Alright, plan B. I keep you quiet as my... _partner_ removes your blindfold, revealing me, holding a lighter, standing next to a shitty painting of a hoofbeast attacking some kind of sports human.

Say my name and the painting gets it.

  


You WOULDN'T.

  


Do you really want to fucking test me? You aren't going to say no.

  


You MONSTERS. Actually, wait, isn't Dirk supposed to have that painting? Anyway, yeah, you're pretty much right. So, what are we doing?

  


You're going to repeat everything we say. No quirk, no indication of who's talking.

  


Okay, but why me? You can narrate too, so...

  


_Shut the fuck up, you idiot!_ Nothing that would identify either of us! If we were identified, if those two noticed us narrating, we'd be goners! Don't think I haven't noticed that nobody pays any attention to the fact that you exist. We're going to use that to our advantage so we can stay anonymous.

  


I... guess that tracks? I mean, it's bullshit. But it tracks. I guess that's hubris! Never self-indulgently self-inserting ever again if this is where it gets me. Alright, here we go. You can start just, like, talking?

  


Okay, finally you shut up. Let's get to work.


End file.
